I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize