I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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