Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Where is the hickey?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Small penises have feelings too.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
