We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
