so explain again why im purple
no
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
