Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You ruined the universe
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize