I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
