i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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