Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
