I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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