Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
