You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
