Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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