They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
