Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
