So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's no shave November. This is our time.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
