I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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