blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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