capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
