$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
