found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
