You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
