so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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