Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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