if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
