just tell him i said nine months
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
