I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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