I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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