at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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