i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
