In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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