We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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