took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
