we have officially lost it.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize