Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
