____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
