He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My dick has a subreddit
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
