and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
