sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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