those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
