If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
