So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
