Umm I'm too high to move.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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