forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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