sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
