there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
