My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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