Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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