so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize