your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
