My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
