My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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