Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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