I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
