I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
