yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
