Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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