It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
