I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
