Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
