O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
