I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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